Journal 35 - Tradition

From what little I know about the story, I would say that tradition plays a lot in the role of the story. It is because of tradition that Okonkwo's father, Unoka, died rotting in the Evil Forest. This would not have had a good effect on Okonkwo. As a result, wanting to avoid this conclusion, Okonkwo works hard. What I thought was that the society of this is very traditional. Because of this, when the colonists attack, everything falls apart because they are only accustomed to their traditions. The positives of the society that relies on traditions to how to live, what to do, when to do it and etc. is that everything is well planned out and set. It is very orderly such as harvesting on the full moon day. The negatives are plenty though but I would only like to mention a few. Some negative effects would be that if you only stuck to origin the most, then nothing might get done at all. For example, if you are waiting for the right time to attack a village, you would get nothing done and the village would crush you instead. My own society used to be traditional. It is very traditional yet it is shifting towards Westernization. There used to be only Buddhism but more religions as well as cultures are coming in. I think that I am highly affected and controlled by religion because I am having to be a monk a couple times a year. It is a strong force in my life because I believe some traditions like this with my heart and sould but sometimes, it has no impact at all.

Journal 34 - Romance

Nothing much comes into my mind when I hear the word romance. Nothing stereotypical comes in like the love birds or flowers or hearts. Romantic could even mean from Italy or Rome. It does not give me much sight to see. All I would see at the most is Romeo and Juliet. When I see this, this is accompanied by the seven deadly sins. I like talking about the seven deadly sins because a problem can lead to one of them and so on. Romance, I would define it as something nice and cute going on between people. But the other definition which I would choose over this definition would be the extraordinary and the mysterious. This is because this is so much more interesting than the "Romance" that people like. This is because in the end, all of us will die and we will leave each other. Lust, which is usually associated with Romance, is accompanied by Greed, backed by Wrath and can involve Pride. All these are not good, at least I don't think they are good to a certain extent. The more you think of it the more disgusting it becomes. Romantic emotions would be cute, lovely or even lusty. Romantic actions would be kissing, giving presents or so. the most "Romantic" thing I have heard of would be holding hands or cuddling. I think this because it could be the most innocent form of attraction. However, I would want to talk about the unknown and extraordinary part of romance. In a way, the Bermuda Triangle is romantic. It really is. It is just so mysterious and the things that happen there are so mysterious. Therefore, being romantic is not always nice. It might lose you a life just like in Romeo and Juliet.

Journal 33 - Colonialism and Corruption

What is similar about these countries are that they were all corrupted. There is still a lot of bribery taking place. The governments are corrupted or were once but I would still consider the current government of Myanmar corrupted. You could easily do what you want by paying the higher ups or as the documentary states, an envelope of happiness. A lot of illegal stuff are still going on in the government. Excessive amount of drugs being sold, weapons being traded, unofficial diplomats being created and etc. Cocaine, weed and many other drugs are obtained very very easily. There is also the similarity of some form of group fighting against the government. In the Central African Republic, there was a coup. In Sierra Leone, there is a civil war. A lot of casualties occurred. In Myanmar, there are still civil wars going on in the country. There were also several uprisings with a lot of casualties. What is also similar is that the countries are war-torn at least at one point in time. The differences are that Myanmar's conflicts are in the borders of the country or in the countryside, far away from huge cities. This is kind of different from Sierra Leone who's situation was safe in capitals and big cities. Later, the rebels took over everything. It is more like the rebels and the soldiers join forces to fight against the civilian government. The state of Sierra Leone is just terrible. CAR has a lot of outside influence usually by the Europeans. Sierra Leone also had a lot of outside influence. In Myanmar, the rebels are the borders had outside influence and help such as the support of weapons. I would want to develop Myanmar economically. I would because I want to. I would also implement harsh rules, taking away people who doesn't deserve the improvements. I would have new roads, economic plans and also new infrastructure development. When I carefully think, it would be so hard to change everything in Myanmar, but I would try. My advice to other people would be to do what is right and what will benefit the people because if you benefit the people, you will benefit because you are of the people, by the people and for the people.

Journal 32 - My Holiday

Beah's experience and my holidays, especially the spring break, could be compared in a lot of ways. Baeh had just a holiday from his sick life as he was a child soldier. His life was pretty sick, killing innocent people and burning villages and when he was finally sent to Freetown, he got a potentially permanent holiday from his sick life. I also got a holiday during spring break from my sick life at school. My life at school is very sick because of some sick teachers at school that are just complaining and talking trash without concrete evidence. This is just like how the lieutenant said the rebels are responsible for everything. This teacher holds me responsible for everything. I know I am responsible for somethings but just holding me accountable for everything even while I am shutting up and doing homework is just a no. Beah heard a lot of new stories and witnessed the killing of thousands of people. I myself played in a MMORPG and killed thousands of NPCs to gain experience, getting up to level 37. Baeh became a child soldier while I became a monk so we were both subject to change. Baeh was seeking for the war to end while I was seeking for my monkhood to end so that I could begin to do my usual things again. The difference was that there were no drugs, there was no violence, his killings were in real life while mine was in a game. I obeyed my parents while Beah obeyed the lieutenant. This is my comparison.

Journal 31 - Accepting Death

This passage about Saidu from what I think, is the foreshadowing of Saidu's death. If one accepts death but is not given to him, it would really kill the person because if you don't get what you accept, you will want it; in Saidu's case it was death. Facing death in front of you is very scary. What I think is scarier is that facing or seeing other people die before you do and you are left with the sorrow and guilt of not being able to save that person. If threats to death are continuous, one would eventually thing that he or she is as good as being dead. Saidu fainted many times and he died on his last time. I think that it is different for an adult or for a child. This is because a child is like a blank slate. You could shape it anyway you want. A child can even be made to love death or at least killing. Adults already have something in their mind as well as their past experiences. This is why they will take the situation differently from children. I feel like children are more susceptible to death as they are more fragile both physically and mentally. A body can still be animate but have no life in it. Those are basically robots or killing machines that the army shapes and brainwashes the kids into. I once learned from watching The Matrix that the life and the mind are connected and that without the mind, life couldn't live. It was also in Elie Wiesel's night, how he was like a corpse, looking himself in the mirror and how lifeless he is from all the horrors he has seen. So yes, a body can still be animate but not have life in it. Maybe life just depends on your mind. If you are happy, then you live. If you are just sticking to a schedule or doing work that does not make you happy, then you are not living your life. This is because if you love what you do, then it is not work anymore.

Journal 30 - Hope and Destiny

Hope is a very playful thing. It doesn't come most of the time and it can be very faint. It is very playful, moving away from person to person and can stop staying at one. When hope goes somewhere, work and success follows. It's like in the story of Pandora's box where the delicate thing that people need is released into the world. Because there are disasters that are released, hope must follow it. Hope gives energy to people while he is there. He, Hope, if kind enough, will stay and let work follow. Hope are work can be simultaneous but there can be only work but no hope. If hope is there, one will surely work. With hope and work appearing simultaneously, success can have a higher chance of appearing. Hope can disappear if you don't work. Hope will disappear if it sees a monster called disasters. That monster is not permanent and one must be strong enough to pull hope with him even during times of disasters. If one puts in much effort and energy and is strong enough, hope will stay with him even when the monster, disasters, is there. As time passes, hope and work will fight the monster and success will be gained if you overcome it. I have lost hope many times and I have been very sad. I have had thoughts of suicide too but it isn't worth it. Knowing that there is always something better, it gives me hope which will give me his energy. This is why hope that is lost can be found again.

Journal 29 – Survival (A Long Way Gone)

These boys learn to stick together. They steal food, they learn to persuade people to show their innocence and they had to avoid soldiers as much as they can. They had to learn to survive by not eating food for several days and gain physical skills they never thought they could retain. They had no choices and they even had to avoid the towns so that people don't think that they are child soldiers coming to kill the civilians. I have seen a lot of things people do to survive. People lie, steal or even kill to survive. This could be seen in the assassination of U Ko Ni. This is because the person who killed needed to survive, he took orders from someone, having a gun and all, and killed U Ko Ni. This is expected to human beings, going to several extents to achieve what they want. I am surprised that people could do many things to survive even in the extent of killing themselves. This is very ironic but this can happen many times such as soldiers and so on. For me, I could lie for me to survive. I could or would steal if the situation was sticky. I would not kill easily unless I'm in a situation such as a serial killer coming into my room and I have a gun with me or so on.

Journal 28 - A Stone Through Water

Siddhartha says that when he is pursuing a goal, he is like a stone through water. This means that he is not distracted at all. I have had goals in school in life and plenty others. I have done many things to attain my goals. Some of the things I have done to attain my goals are working hard and so on. Some of mine goals would be to get an 800 on the SATs and get higher than a 4.15 GPA. I was successful in achieving this because I tried very hard for this. My goals in life are to get into a good college and be rich so that my family will not be financially incapable at any point in my life. Now, I am financially incapable to go to schools such as UWC. I don't want this to happen at all. My goals would be in computer science, math and stem-based subjects. I have a lot of academic goals in order to be successful in my life. My other goals would be to have a loyal and good companion. I did a lot of work but I have slacking off these days so I hope this gets better. I want to be successful and I want to graduate into a good college. I will work harder and my aim is to have integral and differential calculus down. I am also willing to pursue Physics up to AP Physics C.

Journal 27 - Think, Wait, Fast

Siddhartha has 3 skills from what he said in the book. These skills of thinking, waiting and fasting are what Siddhartha can do.  it is useful because it helps him concentrate on the world Om, on his powers and eventually to reach enlightenment. He can also use it in business which is pretty neat. How people would use thinking and waiting is that you elaborate for a better understanding. When you think, you process it inside your head and absorb it to have a deeper understanding of things while you have a better memory just by waiting and replaying what you just thought. When you fast, you learn to be patient. Thinking and waiting are a lot of things that I do. I could fast more often because it is a good deed too. However, I think that I could wait less and do more to improve my work ethics. I am thinking all the time and waiting, accomplishing nothing. This is not good and this is why I need to improve my work ethics. Sometimes, I don't like thinking at all. When I think, I wait and I don't get homework done. Sometimes when I think, bad things would pop into my mind and my own imagination would scare me back. I thinking emptying your mind would be a good thing or skill to have. You have no desires and you can be mindful which is in one of the Ladybug books I read called "Mindfulness." You can relax the body but your mind is tired too. Relaxing is a good skill to learn too because when you are thinking, you are straining your mind. When you are fasting, you are straining your body. Once in a while you have to learn to relax and to take a break. The way would be to think, wait, fast, concentrate, empty and relax. When you empty your mind, you are being mindful of the things around you and you can find peace with you and your environment. Doing this will increase your productivity and you will become more productive.

Journal 26 - Your Journey

My life is a very complicated journey. I would map it out as a very bent or complicated river with many tributaries. My life is very complicated and there were many twists and turns. The turning points I say would be changing schools, starting to actually remember things, starting to think logically, wearing glasses, learning lessons from doing things and many others. I learned a lot. When I changed schools, I learned how to blend it fast so that I don't become all alone and sad. Then, you figure out who is actually good or bad and then you go on from it. This is a very hard task. Starting to actually remember things would be when I was 3. I think that the memories of me in 1 and a half might be just fake because my family told me that story and I don't trust myself. The memory from when I was three was vivid though. My friend Yi Aung and I got kicked out of the classroom because he fought with me. My parents didn't tell me about this but I have kind of a vivid scene of this memory. Wearing glasses was one of the most challenging things about my life. I didn't want to wear glasses but simply I couldn't see things the way I used to anymore. When I was young, my eyesight was as sharp as an eagle. At around the age of 10 or 12, I started wearing glasses. I guess you can't shape things the way you want all the time after all. These turning points made me grow. My life is like Siddhartha's life when at time I get tired of what I am or what I have.

Journal 25 - Four Noble Truths

The Four Noble Truths are one of the fundamentals of the Buddhist doctrine. The first truth is that life is full of suffering. This connects with chapter one in Siddhartha, the Brahman's son. In this chapter, we see Siddhartha seeing the bad things in this life. Although he performs the rituals, he is not satisfied. He knows that he will not reach enlightenment this way. With all his worries, we can see that his life is not pleasant for him. For the others, it might be nice but for him, his life is full of suffering. The second truth talks about how suffering comes from attachment and the desires that drive people and keep them from achieving Nirvana. I think that Siddhartha is practicing to take away attachment but he is just losing himself. This is what he says. He says that this way is what he could find by going to the inn and meddling with a prostitute. He sees that he cannot have full self-denial because he keeps finding himself and that wouldn't enlighten him. Finding yourself again in the circle of life will keep you from Nirvana.
The third truth talks about suffering in a way that suffering ceases when attachment to desire ceases. This is the chapter where they meet the Buddha. When Buddha teaches the usual teachings, Govinda joins the Buddha and his monks. His attachment towards the knowledge kind of disappears and his study of the Buddha's behavior increases. Siddhartha will try to find enlightenment on his own.
The last truth is this. Freedom from suffering is possible by practicing the Eight fold Path. Siddhartha will practice his own way to achieve his own way of freedom. This is his awakening. He has walked away from teachers, even Buddha, because they couldn't teach him what he wanted. He decides to learn on his own. This actually is a doctrine in Buddhism, like you have to work alone to reach enlightenment. This is how Siddhartha's life reflects the Four Noble Truths.

Journal 24 - Quest for Self

The phrase search for self is a very popular concept and is a potential topic for several themes. This book, Siddhartha, also talks about it. I have read many books about the topic the quest to self but the most memorable one would be a Single Shard. It is about a boy who goes on a journey to deliver a pot that his master made. It is not necessarily a quest for self but it is a journey that he goes through for his master. He discovers things about himself along the way. He was later attacked by bandits and his life shattered the moment the pot broke. The other hero I have in mind is in the Disney movie of Hercules. Hercules was to find how to be a hero from his strengths. He later learned that a hero is measured by the strength of his heart but not his physical strengths. I did not have a quest for self yet. May be living my life alone at the monastery would be a quest for my inner self but I did not actually went out to search for myself. I went in to search for myself. This was a nice yet tiring experience. A quest can help find one's self by combining outside experiences with emotional experiences, creating an image of what that person is. This is important for everyone because if you don't know who you are, there is no point in your life.

Journal 23 - Buddhist Doctrine

Life is full of suffering. This is what I can agree to. I have meditated in many Buddhist meditation centers and for various time lengths. I believe some of the Buddhist doctrines but for some, I question a bit. The Buddhist doctrine is right most of the time. Life is full of suffering. If you think of it, we are just people trying to lessen the suffering by distracting ourselves with pitiful objects which are all temporary. One day, you will die and you can't reject that fact. However, we are engulfed in our own little worlds, trying to make that short life as "pleasant" as possible by using or doing things that you shouldn't. Suffering is caused by attachment to things, mainly your attachment to life. If you are attached to something, you suffer for it. If you love something, you would try to keep it and protect it. However, is the thing we are protecting really worth our time, energy, and protection if it is only temporary? If there is no attachment, you would have nothing to worry about. From what Buddhism says, if you end attachment, you could end suffering and reach Nirvana. I like the concept of Nirvana but some people can't grasp the idea of it. The idea is that we have two things: the mind and the body. This is inevitable and every living creature has this. There is also the world and we are connected to the world by attachment. Let's just say we are a monkey and the world is a log. There is a rope tying us with the tree but the tree is there by itself and the monkey is there by itself. What we are connected is with the rope, which is attachment. Without the rope, we would be able to be free. That is what Nirvana is. It is peace and freedom. The only way to eradicate the mind and the soul, which are the potential sources for suffering, is to take away attachment and reach Nirvana. I think that a lot of the Buddhist ideals and logic are correct and I could see that being applied to my own life. I could use the meditation techniques I learned to remove stress and stay calm. This is a very important skill in life. Just simple breathing can bring calmness and you can empty yourself and be in peace with the moment, with life. It can sometimes even give me hope if I truly believe in the concept. Sometimes, I get stressed thinking about life, death, people and what not. When this happens, I would meditate and I could get a glimpse of hope by knowing that there is still a way and that it is never too late. May be if I can take away attachment, I would be peaceful. However, the concept of other beings are confusing. I do not believe this sometimes because I do not see it with my own eyes. It is said that there are 31 beings such as animals, humans, nats, people in hell and so on. I could not believe this because I can only see it through paintings and writings. However, I think this could be true and that we are only blocked because we are clouded by attachment. May be if I did more meditation I could see them or may be at least experience their presence. Finally, I think everyone should learn to meditate, to be mindful and to be a good human being.

Journal 22 - Change

Change is inevitable. Life and death are the biggest changes I know of. These happened the most in Nectar in a Sieve. This is the book with the most deaths after Night by Elie Wiesel. The weather of the village has changed. This means that the author has changed the setting. By changing just the setting, the weather, he is able to change all other things by the domino effect. When the weather changed, their economy changed. Later, as it became worse, children died and Ira gave in to prostitution. The economy was the big change and chain effect of the weather. Without food, children starve. Kuti died as well as Raja and Old Granny. Kuti died from starvation. He was well-fed when Ira was a prostitute but when she stopped being one, he died. Raja died from the beating and also because he was starving and weak. Old Granny died from starvation. I think that the book is trying to tell us that every change or decision is a domino effect. This might be the theme of the book. A lot of things changed in my life as well. I did not remember much of my early years but when I changed schools, everything changed. My life changed from being set to one with a teeny tiny bit more freedom. I learned more things and matured a bit more than when I was in ILBC. Adolescence is one phase of change that I go through. It is very weird and you sometimes don't know what actually is going on. I learned a lot about the internet and I learned a lot of things using it as well.

Journal 21 - Living on the Edge

My life is not at risk. However, it might be on the edge if you consider some aspects and possibilities. The things that could happen are just scary. I think the government, nature, the flow of life, and death are forces beyond our control. There are plenty but those are the four main ones I thought of while writing this journal. Willpower, energy, fate, hope, motivation and mind are the forces that determine what I do that are coming from me. I wrote this because I never always have full control of them meaning it is very hard for me to do somethings such as being motivated at nine pm at night. I would only get my motivation to do work later at night or I wouldn't do it at all. I have many risks when the forces turn hostile. If nature turns hostile, there is an issue of life and death. With the government, if there are political problems, there can be death, and poverty but on the bright side there could be prosperity. The flow of life controls how rich or poor the family is. Life and death are mostly not within our controls. May be life is but not all aspects of life is under control. You can't prevent that one day you will die. You can speed up the coming of death by destroying your health and you can also slow down the coming of death by preserving good health. However, you can't stop death from coming to you. My friends and family gives me hope during hopeless times so that I can achieve my goals. I sometimes get tired of life and when that happens, I remember a quote I have read before. It is by R. D. Laing and it says, "Life is a sexually transmitted disease and the mortality rate is one hundred percent." This might just be my favorite quote.

Journal 20 - Disappointment

Disappointment is can be temporary and is usually temporary. However, it is usually unexpected. Disappointment strikes when you expect something very well and something not very well happens. This happened in Nectar in a Sieve when Rukmani was disappointed by her husband's house. Disappointment can also go away if you see something justifiable or if the disappointment changes to satisfaction. This can also be seen in Nectar in a Sieve when Rukmani learns to appreciate her husband's house. In my life, I had very high hopes when I changed schools from ILBC to YIS. I thought YIS would be the best school ever. YIS is indeed a good school but I am currently disappointed by the quality of some classes. It made me feel like the 17600+ dollars was not worth it. This is the case for some students too. They were disappointed by the school and some of them are changing soon. I think the only way I could overcome this disappointment is to self-learn and do more things for myself. This was not the biggest disappointment I had. The disappointment I had was seeing students of different ages, spoiling themselves and not getting a good education or a good future. This happens in many areas and I am disappointed by this. I was able to overcome this by saying that it's not my life by theirs.

Journal 19 - The Journey

The beginning of Nectar in a Sieve was sad for Rukmani. This was the first part of her life journey. Life itself is a journey, moving around, doing things, learning more and more and eventually, being changed in the end. I believe that all stories take a journey and they can be both physical and mental. In an anime called Hunter x Hunter, they said that it's not about the destination but about the journey. The journey I want to talk about today though is Night by Elie Wiesel. It is a memoir and shows me one of the most horrifying and life-changing journeys of all time. I chose this because I have never seen such a violent journey and this tells me that even bad things can be part of a journey. His life journey starts when the Nazi took him to a camp. From there, he moved from camp to camp with his father and he never reunited with his mother and sisters. They smelled burning flesh and witnessed utmost cruelty, giving a thirteen year old a slow and painful death in front of the people. He endured the pain with his father and not long after, they escaped the Nazis because there was an attack. However, his father dies in the end and Elie is almost dead from food poisoning and the effects of war. Although he is physically alive, he only sees a corpse when he looks into a mirror. I have also been on some sort of journey. When I went to the monastery, I went through a huge mental journey. I thought about the horrors of death and many bad things that could happen. I try to dispel them by meditating but in the change it gave me was a bit of maturity and depression. 

Journal 18 - Work and Hope

An epigraph is something written at the beginning of a story, usually to suggest its theme. Just by looking at this epigraph, I would like to say that it's pretty deep in meaning. It is trying to say that unless you work with hope, you would have a hard time succeeding. Hope is very important because if you have no hope than you don't have the will to do something or to go on. Rukmani, the main character of the book Nectar in a Sieve, would not be able to live without hope. She was the youngest daughter of the headman of the village but her father did not have enough money for her because there was a collector. As a result, she was married to a poor tenant farmer. She was so sad and she was sick but she kept hope in her husband. She started working, such as planting plants and she was pleased to hear that her husband built the mud home himself for her. This work gave her hope and there is an increasing amount of love between them. I believe what the epigraph essentially means is that hope should be put in objects and that work is necessary for hope. I think that this also applies to my life. This is because when I am at school, I put hope in my work or my tests. Work is necessary meaning that I have to actually learn and work for me to hope for a good grade. Therefore, I agree to the epigraph that Nectar in a Sieve portrayed.

Journal 17 - Doing the Right Thing

Most people have an idea of a right and a wrong. These do not have to be written as a law to be one of the principles of life. The most common people I think is the "live-with-some-morals" people are common. They won't kill or steal anything by consent. They also have some ways to go around their little rules. They wouldn't kill or steal but let's just say they saw a hundred dollar bill on the road. Most of them would just take it, especially if no one is around. It's possible that it doesn't even need to be a hundred dollar bill. Some people might even take a dime because it might be useful sometime. These people, I think are the most common people in the world. People are not criminals but are capable of becoming criminals if they are alone or if no one is watching them. If no one finds out or if only a small group of people knows, then that person could be a criminal just fine. I am mostly a simple guy. I don't like to do bad things. I don't steal or things like that but I would take an opportunity that would come to me if it is not going to harm people. If it is going to make some people sad, I wouldn't do it. If I found someone's hundred dollar bill on the road, I would not take it. I would try to find the person back. On the other hand, if someone gave me the test questions and I could use it to help myself study instead of harming someone, I would do it. I would do it in a way that would not harm myself. That is what I believe in. Some rules that I think should be in life are no killing, no stealing or no using recreational drugs. I just find horror and disgust in killing. Stealing I think, as in picking up something someone has lost if fine, not for me but for the general people, because the person should've been more careful with their items. Stealing by going into a person's house and taking their stuff would not be fine. Recreational drugs are just a no.

Journal 16 - Survival Choices

A thematic topic that appears in both Akutagawa's "Rashomon" and at the end of Kurosawa's film adaptation of "In a Grove" (for some reason title "Rashomon") is that of the conflict between survival and ethics. In these, as well as many other literary works (as well as in real life), individuals are forced to choose between doing what they know is right and dying. Describe how this struggle plays out in the text version of "Rashomon" and then compare it to the situation in the film version. Then describe situation in which you had to make a difficult decisions between what you knew to be right and what you were otherwise pressured to do (hopefully not under threat of death). What about in the world-at-large? Have you ever heard of a real-life situation in which someone had to choose between good and evil in order to survive? Describe the situation.

 In the text version of Rashōmon, the servant of the samurai was the protagonist. The samurai needed him no more and sent him away. Now that he had nothing to do or nowhere to go to, he approaches the gate of Rashōmon. in the Rashōmon, he chooses between survival and ethics. In the book version, the servant chose survival, basically abandoning his moral values. In the film version, the man chose survival over ethics or kindness. This was a bit very surprising because it combined two stories into one movie. I also did not expect that he would take things away from a child because the parents abandoned him. It showed that he has no ethics and that he is just for survival. The similarity in the book and the film are that both the men would do anything for survival. The different is in that the film's child is innocent and the woman plucking hair out might not be too innocent. I also had a difficult decision. It was in middle school. I didn't do my homework and I didn't study for any vocab. When I had a quiz that day in class, I am struggling so much, hoping not to die. When I looked beside me, there was Michael. Oh how his answers looked so beautiful. However, I have my ethics and said that it was too wrong to do this. But at last, I was young and it was too tempting. I copied my answers and I got caught. I guess I was really happy that I got caught. This way, I would remember to do work I'm supposed to do. The next time, I am pretty sure I am going to choose good instead of evil.

Journal 15 - Truth

In Akutagawa's stories, the truth is hidden until the end or is not even exposed at all. It can be impossible to find the absolute truth in some cases such as In a Grove. When the stories of all the people are contradictory, there is no absolute truth. However, there is still some truth in the stories of In a Grove. They are that the man died and that the woman did "it" with Tajomaru, although we do not know if it is with consent. The author might have told the story in this way so that the readers question what the real truth is. Is the real truth your perception or what comes into your senses? In the real world, it is possible to know the "real" truth. Although it can be very hard, it is possible. Let's just say you play the whisper game. What started out in the beginning and what ended is usually not the same. Different versions of what the people heard are present. The truth was twisted from one person to another until it comes out as one new and ridiculous thing. The "real" truth here could be noticed when you go back to the first person who told it. This happened to me with my game once. There were several news on the internet that the game I like is ending in the near future. When I visited this article, it showed evidence on to another article. On and on, I got to the final evidence, which was the official post from the creators themselves. The article here talked about the endgame, which is like the final stage you could achieve in the game. They were talking about how 13 levels is too little for a game with a big hit. This truth here was twisted so smoothly that it shocked so many fans across the world. I might have believed in two truths before. This is because of the hindsight bias that this happens. It seems like I already know that fact before so I agree to it. Moments later, I agree to another fact which is contradicting to the previous fact. There might be alternative facts depending on who what when where or why the fact was written. The less bias there is, the closer it is to the truth. Two contradictory things can be both true at the same time when one takes one part of the truth and the other takes the other part. If someone expanded on that, he or she could eventually end up with two contradicting facts. Therefore, the truth for me is not my perception but the actual thing that went on, without any bias or twist on the facts.

Journal 14 - In A Grove, Text v Film

In a Grove, the film and the book, both were similar and different to each other. When I started to watch the film, I was disappointed because I was expecting colors and all fancy props from reading the book. Well, honestly, I should have expected that because it was a fairly old film. I also didn't expect it to be as dramatic or as crazy as it is. The book was awesome, keeping its mysterious and sad tone throughout the story. The movie, not so much. A lot of the things were the same story-wise. It was following the patterns of In a Grove as well as the main points such as the main characters. What was strange was that some of the minor characters such as the woman's mother were cut out of the movie. They are also different in telling the "truth" of the story. The book was mysterious and sort of a cliffhanger while the movie was not. It combined Rashōmon and I did not expect it. The woman in the movie looked more creepy than sexy and this is kind of a problem for all of us as we reacted more to the woman's eyebrows than the story itself. The film director also put in a woman, a medium in which the dead samurai spoke from and it was more dramatic than needed. Akira Kurosawa decided to take out the minor characters out from the film and put in the truth because it was an old movie meaning that they might not have enough actors or that the people who watch it might be confused if it ended with the samurai. This might not be the ideal purpose of the films during this time period. Honestly, I liked the book better because you can imagine it freely and also because I don't like too much drama or the woman's eyebrows.

Journal 13 - The Meiji Era Summary

The Meiji Era was a change in intellect for the better. Many new ideas such as realism, first-person novel styles, the reformation of past ideas, and the discussion of politics came out. Writers who wrote about realism became a lot more popular. During the late 1800s, a new form of writing called the "I" novel developed and it focuses on the first-person style. There was a chain of movements from Romanticism to Naturalism to Humanism and neo-realism. Past ideas were rewritten and renewed by the new writers. New writers also started to write about harsh lives of people as well as the literature that opposed war.

Journal 12 - Rashomon and other stories

The story I read during my winter break is Yam Gruel. It's about an old samurai, named Goi, who is very spiritless. People would tease him, say bad things about him and also do practical jokes on him.  Goi would barely respond and the response would also be as sad and spiritless as he is. However, there is one thing he wanted in life, to satisfy himself with yam gruel. He only gets a tiny amount every year at a banquet. This year, he asked for more yam gruel and was joked on. However, Goi got a offer from Toshihito, the son of the finance minister to satisfy himself with yam gruel. He traveled with Toshihito to Tsuruga, where he was treated with yam gruel. After his wish was satisfied, he returned to the spiritless old man he is. The setting is in Japan and in old times. The main characters are just those pointed out above. There is also a fox, which could be one of the main characters as it delivers the message of Toshihito to Tsuruga. The author was trying to say things like, "Don't crave for something or you might get too much of it" and "it is hard to satisfy man." It was a good and informative story but the way it is written is confusing.