Journal 28 - A Stone Through Water

Siddhartha says that when he is pursuing a goal, he is like a stone through water. This means that he is not distracted at all. I have had goals in school in life and plenty others. I have done many things to attain my goals. Some of the things I have done to attain my goals are working hard and so on. Some of mine goals would be to get an 800 on the SATs and get higher than a 4.15 GPA. I was successful in achieving this because I tried very hard for this. My goals in life are to get into a good college and be rich so that my family will not be financially incapable at any point in my life. Now, I am financially incapable to go to schools such as UWC. I don't want this to happen at all. My goals would be in computer science, math and stem-based subjects. I have a lot of academic goals in order to be successful in my life. My other goals would be to have a loyal and good companion. I did a lot of work but I have slacking off these days so I hope this gets better. I want to be successful and I want to graduate into a good college. I will work harder and my aim is to have integral and differential calculus down. I am also willing to pursue Physics up to AP Physics C.

Journal 27 - Think, Wait, Fast

Siddhartha has 3 skills from what he said in the book. These skills of thinking, waiting and fasting are what Siddhartha can do.  it is useful because it helps him concentrate on the world Om, on his powers and eventually to reach enlightenment. He can also use it in business which is pretty neat. How people would use thinking and waiting is that you elaborate for a better understanding. When you think, you process it inside your head and absorb it to have a deeper understanding of things while you have a better memory just by waiting and replaying what you just thought. When you fast, you learn to be patient. Thinking and waiting are a lot of things that I do. I could fast more often because it is a good deed too. However, I think that I could wait less and do more to improve my work ethics. I am thinking all the time and waiting, accomplishing nothing. This is not good and this is why I need to improve my work ethics. Sometimes, I don't like thinking at all. When I think, I wait and I don't get homework done. Sometimes when I think, bad things would pop into my mind and my own imagination would scare me back. I thinking emptying your mind would be a good thing or skill to have. You have no desires and you can be mindful which is in one of the Ladybug books I read called "Mindfulness." You can relax the body but your mind is tired too. Relaxing is a good skill to learn too because when you are thinking, you are straining your mind. When you are fasting, you are straining your body. Once in a while you have to learn to relax and to take a break. The way would be to think, wait, fast, concentrate, empty and relax. When you empty your mind, you are being mindful of the things around you and you can find peace with you and your environment. Doing this will increase your productivity and you will become more productive.

Journal 26 - Your Journey

My life is a very complicated journey. I would map it out as a very bent or complicated river with many tributaries. My life is very complicated and there were many twists and turns. The turning points I say would be changing schools, starting to actually remember things, starting to think logically, wearing glasses, learning lessons from doing things and many others. I learned a lot. When I changed schools, I learned how to blend it fast so that I don't become all alone and sad. Then, you figure out who is actually good or bad and then you go on from it. This is a very hard task. Starting to actually remember things would be when I was 3. I think that the memories of me in 1 and a half might be just fake because my family told me that story and I don't trust myself. The memory from when I was three was vivid though. My friend Yi Aung and I got kicked out of the classroom because he fought with me. My parents didn't tell me about this but I have kind of a vivid scene of this memory. Wearing glasses was one of the most challenging things about my life. I didn't want to wear glasses but simply I couldn't see things the way I used to anymore. When I was young, my eyesight was as sharp as an eagle. At around the age of 10 or 12, I started wearing glasses. I guess you can't shape things the way you want all the time after all. These turning points made me grow. My life is like Siddhartha's life when at time I get tired of what I am or what I have.

Journal 25 - Four Noble Truths

The Four Noble Truths are one of the fundamentals of the Buddhist doctrine. The first truth is that life is full of suffering. This connects with chapter one in Siddhartha, the Brahman's son. In this chapter, we see Siddhartha seeing the bad things in this life. Although he performs the rituals, he is not satisfied. He knows that he will not reach enlightenment this way. With all his worries, we can see that his life is not pleasant for him. For the others, it might be nice but for him, his life is full of suffering. The second truth talks about how suffering comes from attachment and the desires that drive people and keep them from achieving Nirvana. I think that Siddhartha is practicing to take away attachment but he is just losing himself. This is what he says. He says that this way is what he could find by going to the inn and meddling with a prostitute. He sees that he cannot have full self-denial because he keeps finding himself and that wouldn't enlighten him. Finding yourself again in the circle of life will keep you from Nirvana.
The third truth talks about suffering in a way that suffering ceases when attachment to desire ceases. This is the chapter where they meet the Buddha. When Buddha teaches the usual teachings, Govinda joins the Buddha and his monks. His attachment towards the knowledge kind of disappears and his study of the Buddha's behavior increases. Siddhartha will try to find enlightenment on his own.
The last truth is this. Freedom from suffering is possible by practicing the Eight fold Path. Siddhartha will practice his own way to achieve his own way of freedom. This is his awakening. He has walked away from teachers, even Buddha, because they couldn't teach him what he wanted. He decides to learn on his own. This actually is a doctrine in Buddhism, like you have to work alone to reach enlightenment. This is how Siddhartha's life reflects the Four Noble Truths.

Journal 24 - Quest for Self

The phrase search for self is a very popular concept and is a potential topic for several themes. This book, Siddhartha, also talks about it. I have read many books about the topic the quest to self but the most memorable one would be a Single Shard. It is about a boy who goes on a journey to deliver a pot that his master made. It is not necessarily a quest for self but it is a journey that he goes through for his master. He discovers things about himself along the way. He was later attacked by bandits and his life shattered the moment the pot broke. The other hero I have in mind is in the Disney movie of Hercules. Hercules was to find how to be a hero from his strengths. He later learned that a hero is measured by the strength of his heart but not his physical strengths. I did not have a quest for self yet. May be living my life alone at the monastery would be a quest for my inner self but I did not actually went out to search for myself. I went in to search for myself. This was a nice yet tiring experience. A quest can help find one's self by combining outside experiences with emotional experiences, creating an image of what that person is. This is important for everyone because if you don't know who you are, there is no point in your life.

Journal 23 - Buddhist Doctrine

Life is full of suffering. This is what I can agree to. I have meditated in many Buddhist meditation centers and for various time lengths. I believe some of the Buddhist doctrines but for some, I question a bit. The Buddhist doctrine is right most of the time. Life is full of suffering. If you think of it, we are just people trying to lessen the suffering by distracting ourselves with pitiful objects which are all temporary. One day, you will die and you can't reject that fact. However, we are engulfed in our own little worlds, trying to make that short life as "pleasant" as possible by using or doing things that you shouldn't. Suffering is caused by attachment to things, mainly your attachment to life. If you are attached to something, you suffer for it. If you love something, you would try to keep it and protect it. However, is the thing we are protecting really worth our time, energy, and protection if it is only temporary? If there is no attachment, you would have nothing to worry about. From what Buddhism says, if you end attachment, you could end suffering and reach Nirvana. I like the concept of Nirvana but some people can't grasp the idea of it. The idea is that we have two things: the mind and the body. This is inevitable and every living creature has this. There is also the world and we are connected to the world by attachment. Let's just say we are a monkey and the world is a log. There is a rope tying us with the tree but the tree is there by itself and the monkey is there by itself. What we are connected is with the rope, which is attachment. Without the rope, we would be able to be free. That is what Nirvana is. It is peace and freedom. The only way to eradicate the mind and the soul, which are the potential sources for suffering, is to take away attachment and reach Nirvana. I think that a lot of the Buddhist ideals and logic are correct and I could see that being applied to my own life. I could use the meditation techniques I learned to remove stress and stay calm. This is a very important skill in life. Just simple breathing can bring calmness and you can empty yourself and be in peace with the moment, with life. It can sometimes even give me hope if I truly believe in the concept. Sometimes, I get stressed thinking about life, death, people and what not. When this happens, I would meditate and I could get a glimpse of hope by knowing that there is still a way and that it is never too late. May be if I can take away attachment, I would be peaceful. However, the concept of other beings are confusing. I do not believe this sometimes because I do not see it with my own eyes. It is said that there are 31 beings such as animals, humans, nats, people in hell and so on. I could not believe this because I can only see it through paintings and writings. However, I think this could be true and that we are only blocked because we are clouded by attachment. May be if I did more meditation I could see them or may be at least experience their presence. Finally, I think everyone should learn to meditate, to be mindful and to be a good human being.